1. |
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When this pile of ants consumes my flesh
Gripping the hand as I pray for death
I’m reluctant to find a better way
I don’t think that I’ll see the light of day
If I make it through this fucking week, this town will kill me
I’m reluctant to find a better way
I’m reluctant to find a better way
I’m reluctant to find a better way
I’m reluctant to find a better way
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2. |
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Day by day
Ounce by ounce
Void of light
Septic in Mind
Septic in Body
Septic in Soul
Venom of god
Angel of poison
Falling in two
At one with hell
Incorporating pain
Praying for the worst
I’ve been dead for a minute, oh my god
I’ve been dead for a minute, oh my god
I’ve been dead for a minute, oh my god
I’ve been dead for a minute, oh my god
I’ve been dead for a minute, oh my god
I’ve been dead for a minute, oh my god
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3. |
The Pain of Being Awake
02:22
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These walls are caving in
My patience growing thin
Deceived by the heart of man
My eyes are filled with sin
Manifested truth
Looking into lies
Praying this is foul
We left our goals behind
The absence of mind, Narrowing time
Incessant decay, Desolation, a bodiless soul
Living in reverse, Looking for an escape, Refraining from light
Inside these dark days, Waking up in pain, It never goes away, Miasma of filth
I can feel my time slowing down dealing with the pain of being awake
Frozen in slow motion, this day is gone.
The flies they gather quick, Decimation!
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4. |
Borrowed Time
02:18
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This obsession lingers for something rare
My eyes are open to this fucked up world
Plowing through the earth, I am lost in time
I don’t want to die here, This is not my time
Will I ever wake up from this wretched nightmare?
This world is crumbling & my dreams are dead
I can see the angel coming to take me away as my hands turn into dust.
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5. |
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6. |
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A pale grim face illuminates the sky
A trove of darkness humming in my head
Living in the current, I swim against the past
This is my world to a dying ear
A black hole of misery, consumes me
I watched my world crash into the sun, voiceless
Screaming for mercy, I watched myself fail, Worthless
Inside this darkness, nothing is good
Screaming in my head, illuminate the sky
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7. |
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Bathing in sin, I feel my stomach open up
Rotting from within, I’m not okay with this
Distortions of reality make up my day
Forced into this world where violence consumes my mind
Bathing in sin, I feel my collapse
Bearer of death, behold these sounds of life
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8. |
Crucified Upside Down
01:37
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This convoluted plot becomes the light of day
All hail this crown of thorns developed by your life
Can’t seem to gain control
A dedicated craft butchered from above
My eyes are twitching still
Unfulfilled external silence
When the medications gone your life is just a blur
Extinct to the dying world, Crucified upside down
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9. |
Abandoned & Lost in Time
01:02
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I can’t desire a future, abandoned & Lost in time
This is a means to an end, abandoned & Lost in time
Slipping into this endless void, abandoned & Lost in time
Swallowing broken glass, abandoned & Lost in time
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10. |
Nothing Ahead of Us
03:25
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Nothing stops this pain
Meaningless moments forever
The false hopes that we have make us fit for nothing
Hollow praise feeling disconnected, hallowed be thy name
Nothing helps this pain, endless suffering
Nothing stop my brain, misery lasts forever
Hollow praise feeling disconnected, hallowed be thy name
I feel my jaw caving into itself
I feel my jaw caving into itself
My memory is fading away
My memory has been taken away
It’s been a struggle to wake up each day when the joy of living has gone away
The future is dead & the angels have wept
The future is dead & the angels have wept
Are you happy living with your god in this coffin called home?
There is no comfort in being here
There is no comfort in being home
There is no sun in the sky
There is no god to judge me now
Its been said, “there’s nothing left”
Nothing has become something less, & I’m not going to say it…
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11. |
Living in Isolation
01:17
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12. |
Watching a Friend Die
02:26
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This well of souls is all dried up by the fire of crippling pain
Your system breaks
Decrease of blood to the brain, Eyes turn faint
As your spirit becomes weak
Courage has lost this will to fight
As your light becomes dim, unconsciousness begins to set in
What’s the point of living when you live in pain?
I don’t want to die here, I feel fine
I don’t want to die here, I feel fine, take my hand
What’s the use in crying when the tears are gone?
I don’t want to die here, I feel fine
I don’t want to die here, I feel fine, take my hand
Why is there tomorrow when you will be gone?
I don’t want to die here, I feel fine
I don’t want to die here, I feel fine, take my hand
Soon the medication will be kicking in
You’ll be gone forever, I feel fine
You’ll be gone forever, I feel fine, Please don’t go…
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Gillian Carter Orlando, Florida
Gillian Carter started 12/15/05.
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